Saturday, August 31, 2013

Why Kenneth Copeland is Ignorant

http://news.yahoo.com/measles-cases-put-texas-megachurch-under-scrutiny-165150724.html


"NEWARK, Texas (AP) — The teachings of televangelist Kenneth Copeland and his family focusing on the virtues of trusting God to keep healthy are under scrutiny after a cluster of measles cases linked to his family's North Texas megachurch revealed many congregants hadn't been vaccinated against the highly contagious disease."

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"Although church officials were quick to act after the outbreak — including hosting clinics in August where 220 people received immunization shots — and have denied they are against medical care or vaccinations, people familiar with the ministry say there is a pervasive culture that believers should rely on God, not modern medicine, to keep them well."

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Kenneth Copland is against vaccinations and medical care, yet denies he is against vaccinations and medical care. People who are familiar with the church, say that they are encouraged to rely on God, not modern medicine to keep them well.
Can a child die from the measles vaccination? Yes. They can have a rare adverse. Can a child die from the measles? Yes. They can acquire encephalitis or severe pneumonia.



"To get a vaccine would have been viewed by me and my friends and my peers as an act of fear — that you doubted God would keep you safe, you doubted God would keep you healthy. We simply didn't do it," former church member Amy Arden told The Associated Press."


A former church member of Kenneth Copeland's Ministries states that the church viewed receiving a vaccination as an act of fear. If a person receives a vaccination as a precautionary with no actual fear inside, then it is in fact, not an act of fear. So by teaching church goers that to receive a vaccination is an act of fear is misinformation. The person would actually have to receive the vaccination out of an act of fear. It is possible for a person who receives a vaccination to just be doing what he/she feels is best for themselves and their family. Telling someone receiving a vaccination is an act of fear is a form of brain washing.


It is not Kenneth Copland's fault, he simply does not understand the love of God, although he genuinely tries. It is an insult to ones individual intelligence to dictate that making a decision to protect themselves against a virus is an act of fear. This judgement that Kenneth Copeland makes is in fact out of an act of fear in itself. As he later goes on to state that he is afraid that the MMR causes autism, which has not been scientifically proven and is just a myth.


What Kenneth Copland does not understand about Love, is that understanding Love is a personal experience and not one that can acquired by mass following. It's okay Kenneth Copeland, I love you anyway. Also, he goes on to state: "You're not putting — what is it Hepatitis B — in an infant! That's crazy. That is a shot for a sexually transmitted disease. What? In a baby?" I'm sorry Mr. Copeland, but Hepatitis B is not just a sexually transmitted disease. Perhaps you should do your research, there are other ways that Hepatitis B can be contracted.


I think the bottom line here is that Kenneth Copland is afraid to receive vaccinations and he places his fear of vaccinations onto his church. This is not Kenneth Copland's personal experience with God he is sharing, this is his own ego's fear he is spreading to the masses. People should learn to make decisions for themselves and not follow Kenneth Copland Ministries like blind sheep. There is a difference between trusting God and fearing the unknown.








Saturday, August 24, 2013

Dear Bahsar Assad, Justice is Love





http://www.amazon.com/Alison-Breskin/e/B00EQGZN1A/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_1


You will be remembered
as a murderer,
a weak,
frail,
insecure man
who 
happily released 
poisonous chemical 
into the air of Syria,
laying down the lives 
of hundreds of innocent children.

You will be remembered
as a coward,
a lost
spiritually immature 
lazy boy,
who
was so afraid
of his own country
he sent evil throughout
Damascus,
robbing lives.

You are not a hero,
you are a person who failed to love,
with multiple personality disorder,
who will die an unhappy man.
Those who follow you are lost,
just as you are.

Yet, I still wish you to see the light of love,
although it is pitch black
in your heart.

If we all forgive you,
this is how you will loose
and we will have won,
because if we hate .....
then we are just like you.

This is how one becomes what they hate.
Because love never hates.
When we hate,
we become angry.

There is no justice in hate.


We do not have to look for justice,
it is already within us,
justice is love, freedom.
If Bashar Assad was a loving man,
he would have never stolen the breath of children
he would have given them life,
as love does, as the light is.

This is why Kafka never found justice,
he never forgave the nazis
and so he was depressed.

Justice doesn't come from the universe,
justice comes from our hearts.
If we are depressed or hateful,
we will never be free.

So by hating the tyrants
we build a cage around our spirits.
The only way to break the cycle
and free our souls, 
by Knocking on the White Door
is to forgive everyone for everything
not for them,
but for our own freedom internally.


Just like 'You are what you eat'
and your diet reflects the health
of your body.
You are what you think
and your perspective reflects the health
of your heart.

If you can't forgive evil,
don't worry,
you are just like 99.9% of the world.
You may be normal,
but you aren't special.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

MSG the Drug, Chapter 1, Are You Unknowingly Poisoning Yourself, or Your Child?

How do I Know that MSG is addictive? I've experienced that addiction myself, first hand. 

My friend and I were on our way home from the Jersey Shore late last night. He turned into the Mcdonald's parking lot unexpected. He cut the wheel quickly to the right and my body slid to the left. 
"You just wanted to be next to me" I joked, as he parked the car. 
"It's cheap and I was in the mood for fries and a Mcdouble". He said. 
"Nothing for me thanks. I might as well tape it to my butt." I replied, knowing full well I would not be able to resist the tasty goodness of a $1.00 Mcdouble.
As we sat down, he handed me a Mcdouble. 
"Well, just one bite" I said, once again knowing full well, once I took one bite, I would have to eat the whole thing! just like Lay's potato chips. 
But what do Lay's potato chips and a Mcdonald's Mcdouble have in common? MSG. 
"I just wanted something with ketchup" My friend said as he voraciously devoured most of the small fries and two Mcdoubles!
"These Mcdoubles are like crack!" I said as I was unable to put mine down after one bite.
I devoured one whole Mcdouble. After I finished eating it, I said,
"I'm ready for a nap, I feel sleepy!"
I know,me too!" My friend agreed.
I had this feeling of guilty satisfaction, like a drug addict who had just gotten his fix.

Monosodium Glutamate is a flavor enhancer for food. It used in almost all processed and fast foods.

Why did I feel sleepy after eating a Mcdouble with the added feeling of a drug like satisfaction? Because MSG is an addictive drug. Definition of Drug:
drug
/drəg/
Noun
A substance that has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body, in particular.

Sounds about right. Just to keep you aware of how the food industry tries to hide the fact that their foods contain the drug, MSG here is a list of alternative names for MSG.
D-Glutamate, monopotassium glutamate, hydrolyzed plant protein, gelatin, calcium, casienate, yeast extract, boullion, natural pork flavoring, whey protein, isolate maltodextrin, ultra-pasteurized, barley malt, prtease enzymes, soy sauce, soy protein, anything protein fortified, natural flavors and seasonings, hydrolyzed vegetable protein. Sly companies in the food industry like craft and many others use these 'alternative' names listed on the ingredients of their food products to give their items a "clean label". Basically what they are trying to do is trick you into thinking the product you are purchasing with your hard earned money to consume into your body, is free of MSG. They are tricking you on purpose. Isn't that nice of them?

MSG was used in baby formula, into the 1960's, until it was discovered that MSG had DEVASTATING and DETRIMENTAL neurological effects on the brain of an infant. Let's say you feed your three year old child a can of tuna fish and Progresso soup for lunch along with Lay's potato chips as a snack and then a nice big helping of that deliciously tasting hamburger helper for dinner. All of these foods are processed and contain the drug MSG. Sure, your child is going to LOVE these foods and want more, why wouldn't he/she? If you gave your child heroin which is also an addictive drug, wouldn't it make sense to expect that he/she would crave more and become addicted? So you happily continue to serve the one you love these cheap and easy to prepare 'foods'. Little are you aware that you are slowly poisoning you child and increasing your childs risk of developing certain neurological & behavioral diseases/disorders. Let's think of it this way. Would you allow your three year old to wake up to morning caffeinated coffee and a cigarette, both of which are addictive drugs? I should think not. Just like caffeine and the chemicals 'Big Tobacco' purposely place in cigarettes to get you addicted, MSG is also harmful to the body and an addictive SUBSTANCE as well. Looking at this from a reasonable perspective, I wouldn't go sheltering my child away from the rat race of 'normal' society by banning him/her from every birthday party in fear that they will obtain an MSG addiction from the cake served. But surely a parent can serve 'Whole Foods' in moderation.




Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Violet's kismet, Chapter 8, Missing Bracelet

'Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' I groaned. 'My Heaaaddddd'.
It was Sunday morning and a beautiful one at that. It was a blessing to feel the sun shining through the bay window in my bedroom, since it has been raining most of Saturday evening into Saturday night. I propped the comforter down and pulled it back over my eyes in a flash. Nice as the sunshine was, it was burning my eyes. Gma had gone to church, which I had earlier declined to attend. Gma went for bible study early in the morning before church and today they were having a luncheon as well. I wasn't up for all that fun.
'mmmmmm' I moaned. 'Ugh' I whined and I tossed the covers off if myself promptly.
I stretched and yawned. My cell phone was ringing, but where was it? I searched all over the bed and underneath the warm covers. I slept with my phone beside me every night. Still no sign of it. I dropped my head to the floor and searched underneath my queen sized bed. There it was, just beside my sneakers underneath a shirt. It was Chrys.
"Hello' I muttered, settling my head back down on my pillow so loud you could hear the 'poof!' as my head hit.
'Hi Vie!' Chrys said cheerfully.
'Your awfully chipper this morning at .....' I looked on my phone '8:45 in the morning'.
'Yeah! I've been up for a whole hour! I've had my protein shake and ran the treadmill for a half an hour! Now I'm just kickin' it talkin' to you.'
'mmhmmm hmmm' I said rather desultory. I began picking the mascara off of my eye lashes and then sprung up from my bed standing up straightening my sore back. My blue and white polka dot pajama bottoms looking fashionable with a white t-shirt.
'You sound so enthusiastic this morning!' Chrys said sarcastically as I heard her little brother bugging her in the background.
'I'm hung over' We giggled as I paced my room, my toes sifted through my tan shag carpet.
'Hung Over?' Chrys said in the form of a statement and a question at once. I began to tell her the story of how Paul proposed to Gma last night, sluggishly.
'Gma Paul and I went out to Yono's for dinner last night' By this point in the conversation I had gotten up and looked at myself over in the mirror at my vanity. Ugh, what a mess! I began brushing my hair and then sat down.
'Sounds like a blast' Chrys said. Chrys knew I wasn't entirely fond of Paul and his antics. 
"You'll never guess what happened' I said.
'You got asked out by a hot waiter?'
'No.' I sighed. I wish. No, Paul proposed marriage to Gma and she accepted!'
'Shutup! Really? Girl that's cray!' Chrys exclaimed.
"I tell you no lies.' I answered. ' Paul gave me a gift, just as sort of a way to make me happy so I didn't have any objections. I am now the proud new owner of a Samsung Galaxy 4 phone'
'No shit! That's awesome! I'm jealous Vie. Now You've got the phone you've always wanted! Upgrade!'
'Yeah, it's pretty cool and Paul's a pretty decent guy, I know he'll take good care of Gma. There's still something that creeps me out about him, but I'm not the one marrying him, so who am I to judge, right?'
'Awah. We'll your gma is happy, that's what really matters.'
"Yep, true that Crys'  I responded trying to believe this was a good thing.
'I'm coming by your house soon, just after I finish my lit homework' Chrys said
'Okay, can't wait to see you. Can you believe the ridiculous amounts of homework we have already and it's only the first week of school?'
'I know' Crys said in agreement. 'Miss you Vie, see you soon! Mwah!
'Mwah!'
"Love you girl, see you in hot minute.'
'Bye'
As I sat there at my vanity, I noticed something, my bracelet was not on my wrist. I sat there stunned for a moment looking for my bracelet on my wrist even though it wasn't there, feeling my wrist as if it would magically appear. Where could it have gone, I wondered out loud, 'My bracelet'. It was a bracelet that I had worn every day since I was five years old. It was a gift from my mother and father for my fifth birthday. After I blew out the candles on my chocolate birthday cake and made the wish that my parents would live forever, they gave me my present. I started to drift back to that day, as if I would find it there.
'Here's your birthday present sweetie' mom said.
'What is it?' I asked. Mom said, 'You have to open it and find out!'
I anxiously unwrapped the rainbow colored wrapping paper and ripped the box open.
"A bracelet!' I said
'Yes' Dad said. "And not just any bracelet, my little darling, Violet, It's a cat's eye bracelet.
"You mean it's made out of the eyes of cats?' I asked with a confuse look on my face as if I was about to cry because I'd of felt bad for all those cats who had lost their eyes just for my birthday bracelet.
'No, sweetie' Daddy said as he and mommy laughed hysterically. 
'What's so funny? I whimpered.
"darling, daddy said as he picked me up into his arms, it's not made out of actual cat's eyes. It's just a name for the stone.' And he placed me down on the white wicker chair as we were in the sun room and placed it on me.
'Oh' I said and I was happy. I love it, mommy and daddy, thank you so much for my cat's eye bracelet!' Frank and Mel looked on lovingly. 
I could hear Mrs. Perdue talking to her husband outside, I had left my window open through the night. Her shrill voice brought me back to reality as I stood up to close the window. I took a deep breath in. I've got to find it, I thought to myself, but where could it be? I had no clue. I knew I had it in the morning when I went to go on my jog. That's it! It must have fallen off after I had that vision of Cindy being raped and murdered. of course! Either that or I had lost it at dinner, but that was less likely. Poor Cindy, I though to myself. I made my way into the kitchen after sniffing my armpits and placing some deodorant on them. I walked down the stairs past the portraits of my parents and I. As I made my way into the kitchen and began brewing some coffee, my phone rang again. It was the same unidentified number that I had missed yesterday morning.Who could it be?
"Yellow' I said casually as I stared at the coffee maker.
'Uh, hey, It's Damian' The voice on the other end said.
'Damian? Hi, I mean Hi, Hello' Was I ever going to be smooth? I started pacing the kitchen? Damian laughed, there was a long pause.
'So, how are you?' He asked. 
'How am I?' I said and just before I could figure out how to answer that question, such a vague question, he said
'Yes, how are you? Como esta? He laughed. We had Spanish class together.
'Uh, Bien?'I answered in the form of a question.
'I mean, you seemed pretty freaked out yesterday .....'
'yeah, I uh, I ....'
'I'm listening ...'
'Well,'I said as I looked out the family room window. 'Even if I told you what happened, you wouldn't believe me.' I tied my long medium brown hair up into a pony tail.
'Violet, you could tell me the' he paused to think of something clever, 'That the sky was falling and I'd still believe you'
'This is cray, we don't even know each other .... how did you even get my number anyway?'
'Sure we know each other, we played catch in the store and once again in the park ...'
'Haha ... I said.' I liked Damian's witty jokes, they made me feel relaxed enough to tell him the truth about the insane vision I had in the park yesterday. As I told Damian about the vision, it dawned on me to ask him what he was actually doing out in the park so early on a Saturday.
'Wow, you had a vision of Cindy's murder? He asked after I explained everything I had seen. I suddenly began to have my regrets about telling him. I tapped myself on the forehead as I laid on the family room couch by the white pane bay window like homer Simpson would have done and said 'Doh'.
''What' Damian asked since I had said it so softly.
'Nothing' I said 'I shouldn't have told you about my vision this, this is cray!'
Cray?' He laughed.
'It's just a thing with me and Crys ...' We paused. 'You make me laugh, Damian.' I said with a flirty demeanor. Oh God, was I flirting with him? I felt uncomfortable and sat up on the floral pattered sofa. 
'Uh, oh,' He said mysteriously. 'Is that a bad thing?'
I giggled like a little school girl with a crush. Damn it! 'No, it's good.' At this point I figured it must have been completely obvious that I had attempted to seem cool and utterly failed.
'What  were you doing walking so early in the park anyways?'
'I just had a feeling that I should get up and go for a walk and that's where I ended up.
'Oh.' I said quietly.
'You still seem a little shaken, are you sure everything's alright? Damian asked me with concern as I made my way back into he kitchen to pour my coffee, spilling it all over the counter as I usually did. Wow, this guy really seemed to care about me, which was odd, since we were hardly acquainted until now.
'I lost my bracelet.' I blurted out. Just as I told Damian of my misfortune, I had a vision that my bracelet was in a bright blue building on a white metal table. I told Damian about the vision. 'You must think I'm weird' I said with a slight change in the tone of my voice as I drank my coffee. Oh, sweet coffee, How I loved thee. Hazelnut extra light no sugar. I gazed around at Gma's country kitchen, which was rather small. 
'yeah, but I still like you anyway,, weird or not. This time we laughed together and I was suddenly feeling rather comfortable being on the phone with him, like all the worries in the world had gone away and then the doorbell rang.
Okay, good to know! I said 'Crys is at the door, I gotta go.' I waled over to the front door to greet Crys and her little Female Yorkie who was wearing a little sparkly pink dress and a pink bow.
Damian whimpered and he  really sounded disappointed to get off the phone with me. As he proceeded to ask me when we could speak to one another again I hung up the phone just as I realized this. Whoops I said as I pressed the 'end call' button on my new Samsung Galaxy 4.
'Hi!' Crys and I both said very loudly as hugged.
'Who were you on the phone with Miss thang?' Crys asked as she entered the foyerholding on hand on her hip rolling her head.
'Oh nobody, just Damian.' I said matter of factly.
'Damian White?' Crys asked as she shook me at my shoulders all giddy like.
'Yeah, Damian White.' I replied in a monotone voice to hide my excitement.
 'Girl, He's hot!' Crys said as we made our way into the dining room to sit down at the table.
'Yeah, I guess he's okay.' I said with a smile practically giving it way that I approved of him.
'What did he wan?t' Crys asked.
Oh, just, uhm, he wanted to know what pages we were supposed to read for Spanish class. Were having a quiz on Monday .....'
'Okay.' Crys said suspiciously but letting the subject go.
Was I really keeping secrets from my bestie?
Crys and I had plans to go over the past sightings of where my parents had been seen and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together, make some calls. Follow up with any existing family besides Gma and Uncle Frank I did have. I felt like I was getting close.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Violet's Kismet, Chapter 7, Paul's Proposal




 I spent most of the rest of Saturday hiding away in my large bedroom, hanging out with my trusty feline friend Salem, after what was a very emotionally exhausting morning. My cell phone had been ringing off the hook between Crys, Gerri and Ollie. There was lots of meaningless high School drama to be had. Chrys liked Ollie, but Ollie was clueless to Cry's crush for him, as he was hard up on me. Gerri was mad at Crys, Crys was mad at Gerri, Ollie yammered on and on about all his favorite bands and their glorious journey's to fame, boring! I mostly kept my friends on speaker while I pretended to pay attention and did other things. I had also received a phone call from an unidentified number while I was showering at 10 am. If I had heard the phone ring, I would have immediately picked it up. I never wanted to miss a call, even if it was from a number that I wasn't familiar with, because I never knew when it could be a call from my beloved parents, or a lead as to their whereabouts. After spending most of the afternoon burrowing away under my purple down comforter, writing in my precious lock journal, doing mundane Spanish homework and watching mindless tv, Gma knocked on the door to my bedroom as I said, 
'Come in' she invited me out to dinner with her and her 'Friend' Paul. 
''Violet, Paul and I are going out to Yon's to dinner tonight, would you like to join us? It'd be nice if you'd come along, we'd really like that, dear'
I felt a warm feeling inside, despite my reservations about Paul, 'Yes, Gma Maple, I would Love to join you both for dinner at Yon's!'
'Oh that's just wonderful dear, I'm going to go get ready, I'll see you in a bit, say about 6:00?'
''Okay!' I replied as I glared at the tv, chewing on a strawberry Twizzler.
Gma and Paul had met at church. Paul was a late comer as opposed to Gma who was a member of Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church all of her life. Paul had moved to Albany shortly after my grandfather had passed. Gma and Paul immediately hit it off at a church bizarre and began spending some time outside of church together.
 Paul's background seemed a tad sketchy to me. He says his wife passed of breast cancer and that he had sold their house shortly after her death. He was living out in Idaho and he wanted to move to a place where there was more of a 'city life' as opposed to the country, to try to 'move on' I suppose. he had two children and six grandchildren back in Idaho. Why anyone would want to leave their family was beyond me. There I was, all I wanted to do was find my family and Paul had abandoned his. He seemed alright, nice enough. I had heard him get frustrated at times at things like the ballgame on tv, he was a big Mets fan, or banter at the microwave for not cooking his burritos fast or thoroughly enough. I guessed if his biggest character flaw was impatience and family abandonment I could deal with that.
 Paul still urked me though as I found him to be overly expressive about how much he liked me and what a good kid he thought I was. I felt like he was fake and just hamming it up to, dare I say it, 'Get in Gma's pants.' Ew. Gross, gross! I had to think of something else, Damian's hot chest and arms and cute dimples, his smile and wit! Oh no, I didn't want to go there either! I thought of a funny time I had with Crys, our first time getting drunk together and how we did star jumps off of the park bench while singing I'm a little tea pot. Now that was better! I laughed as I sat and looked at one of the family photo albums Gma had pulled out of the attic while Frank had visited. I looked up from my bed at the north wall in my colorful bedroom. I had a collage of family photos there, one picture was of my parents and I, on my fifth birthday, I was smiling showing my cat's eye bracelet. It was the photo that had fallen to the ground in my parents room the day they had disappeared. I smiled and closed my eyes for nostalgic effect. I also kept any information that I received in the past mostly from Frank, about sightings people reported as to where they had disappeared to. I touched the photos on the wall. A tear graced my cheek. If I was a able to have a vision of Cindy's murder, why wasn't I able to have a vision of where my parents were? I thought how God was a funny character with strange plans.
 I had gone out to dinner to Yon's restaurant in Albany with Gma and Paul. Paul was a retired business executive of a fortune 500 company, living off of a pretty healthy pension. Yon's was an upscale restaurant that served pricey, pretentious food. I had ordered a pistachio crusted chicken breast in Medeira sauce and a glass of St. Pierre's red wine. I caught a great wine buzz! I remained mostly distant at dinner thinking about the events that had occurred that mornring at the park along the Hudson river. The Vision and crashing into Damian's arms, sigh. Gma had to 'snap me out of it' a few times.
  
 'Vie, what's wrong dear' Gma asked with genuine concern as her pretty blue eyes looked at me from over across the round dinner table. I was mesmerized by her sexy sparkly golden dress as I glanced over to her '
  
 'Oh, she's probably just dreaming about some hunky boy in her class' Paul said smugly and he laughed 'heyuck, heyuck, heyuck'. What a douche bag.
  
 I glanced up at Gma's eyes, and smiled. My eyes were half way closed as if it was obvious whatever Paul was droning on about I found no interest in. Paul had been talking about business and politics as if he was still in the game while filling his already satisfied looking belly with some fancy pasta and steak.
  
 'Nothing's wrong Gma, I'm perfectly happy and I love you.' 
I said with my left hand propped underneath my chin holding it up because I was feeling fatigued. Then I shifted eyes and began to scan the people in the restaurant as Gma and Paul resumed a conversation. I accidentally made eye contact with a few people. Coincidentally, Amy and Ted were there celebrating their monthaversary. (gag me with a pretentious silver spoon.) Ted noticed me as Amy didn't, she was facing the opposite direction as I was. Ted smiled at me and winked. What was that all about? Maybe he had something in his eye. I made a funny face almost pointing to myself as if to ask Ted in some sort of idiotic sign language if the wink had been meant for me. Thank goodness I didn't because just then the waitress walked over to their table. Ted must had been flagging down the young female waitress. She was wearing a short black skirt and sporting a ridiculous amount of cleavage from her white button down blouse. Gma had excused herself to go to the restroom. When she was out of sight, Paul reached over across the table and touched my one free hand. I couldn't believe he was actually touching me. A disturbing chill ran through my bones.
 'Vie, I have an important question to ask your grandmother and I'd like to ask her tonight.' Paul said softly and sincerely. 
At first I was staring at his Rolex and then I met his eyes with one raised eyebrow. Raising my eyebrow reminded me of my first encounter with Damian at Price Chopper and so I smiled meeting Paul straight in his beady hazel eyes.
 "yes', I replied, 'What is it, Paul?' I tried not to say his name with contempt. I pulled my had away from his sweaty palm and took a sip of my red wine looking away and then back again. Paul took a deep breath as if he was about to tell me something very important. He reached for his blue hankie and wiped the sweat beads off of his tanned wrinkled forehead. He fidgeted a while with his hairy thumbs, then he glanced down and then up again as he said nervously:
 'Vie, I'd like to ask your grandmother for her hand in marriage, tonight, while you're here.'  My eyes widened, as if I was shocked, but part of me understood this day was coming. I opened my pink lips as if to say something, but no words escaped, so I took another sip of wine, a rather larger sip than the previous one to calm my nerves.
 'I didn't want you to feel left out, so I've gotten you a gift, to mark this occasion.' Paul pulled out a wrapped gift with a big purple bow from his suit pocket. I looked at him curiously. Paul smiled nervously as he handed me the gift. I held it in my hands for a few seconds, looked up at him and tried to speak:
 'I .....'
 'Just open it!' he said excitedly, 'go ahead!' I was a little curious as to what was in the box. I unwrapped it carefully as not to seem to excited and inside the box was a Samsung Galaxy S4 phone.
 'Wow' I said nodding my head in approval. 'Thanks Paul, this was rather kind of you, to win my approval over with expensive gifts, but you didn't have to ...'
 Paul interrupted me as he said, 'Your grandmother's coming, shhshsshssshhh'
 I took the box and nervously shoved it into my green messenger bag.
 'What's going on, here?' Gma asked suspiciously while grinning as she resumed sitting in her cushioned chair next to Paul. 
 Paul and I looked at each other, anxiously. I gulped another big sip of  my red wine and my glass was suddenly empty. I proceeded to take unusually large bites of my chicken breast. 
 'Mmm ... This is really good chicken, nice and tender...' I said with my mouth full of food. Paul laughed. 
 'What were you putting into your purse, Vie? Gma asked.
 'Nothing, uhhh, Nothing, Just some bread sticks for later.' I said trying to maintain a serious face and gma smiled tenderly
 'Okay Dear' She said.
 That's when Paul proposed to Gma. It was such a public scene. He proposed, she cried, people at the surrounding dinner tables applauded. I was happy for Gma, it didn't matter what I thought of Paul, as long as she was happy. There were lots of hugs and happy tears, a night to remember, blah.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Violet's Kismet, Chapter 6, A Vision of Murder


Saturday morning had come quickly. I had awoken snug as a bug in a rug, underneath my purple velvet comforter. Mother used to read 'Snug as a Bug' to me when I was a child. My comforter was so soft and warm, every time I pulled it off I felt the morning chill. I didn't want to get out of bed, so I rolled around for about a half an hour before waking. It was only 4:30 am. Everyday, I went for an hour long jog at around 5 am. My cell phone alarm clock went off at 5:00 am. I hated my cellphone it was so cheap and behind the times. What I really wanted was a Samsung Galaxy S4 phone, but that was too expensive. I'd have to save up three months worth of allowances and that would mean not spending a penny of it either.

"ERRRR ERRRR ERRRR ERRRR" I stumbled for the button to turn it off grumbling. 

"ERRRR ERRRR ERRRR ERRRR" Where is that button? I went to roll over as I ordered the extremely annoying cell phone alarm to shutup and I accidentally rolled out of bed with my comforter. 

"owwwwww" I yelped as I hit the carpeted floor but finally got the darn thing to stop beeping.

I threw on my 'jogging' clothes and began doing stretches. I was in great shape! My calves were well defined, my abs were toned and I was as flexible as a gymnast! I did a ten minute set of stretches in my roomy bedroom on my blue Yoga mat with little yellow suns. Salem strutted over to say Hello.

"Meow"

Salem greeted me as I stretched.

"Good Morning Salem" I greeted him too.

"Meow, Meow"

Salem replied as he rubbed his fat furry body against my sides.

"mmmmmmm .... You're so soft"

I picked Salem up and gave him kisses, he was shedding.
"Pfffttt Pfftttttt" Oh I need to brush you!
I  then arose, grunting  from the pain of my Russian split stretching position. I was feeling like a million bucks though! I stretched my arms up in the air from side to side as I played 30 Seconds to Mar's 'From Yesterday' on my ipod dock. Then I proceeded out the back door. Salem followed me.

"No, Salem, you stay here"

"Meooowwww?" He pleaded convincingly.

"You know you can't come jogging with me, my fat furry buddy."

I placed Salem down on the tiled kitchen floor and proceeded out the door. The air held a certain crisp chill that gave me goose bumps on my skinny arms. I was wearing a pink v-neck t-shirt and black Victoria Secret's yoga pants. I had bought them on my last 'Mall trip' with Uncle Frank. He loved Victoria Secret's. I figured it was because he liked to shop around for Mel, since he always bought something too.
Gma didn't like shopping at the mall, in fact she despised it. She was an avid Walmart shopper. She said 'anything you need you can get at Walmart, from a light bulb to lunch meat!' I wasn't too fond of Walmart, but Gma certainly was!

"Good morning Miss Violet" I heard in a sing song voice from the nosy neighbors yard.

"Good morning Miss Perdue"  I said struggling to sound cheerful. I wondered what she was doing up so early, but didn't care enough to ask. 
"Going for your jog?" She asked.
"mm hm" I said.
"Hey, it's yer birthday soon, now, isn't it there Miss Violet? Pretty little thing you are, I bet all the young lads in school are just chasin' you around tryna get in those britches!"
"Uhm, yeah, September 30th. It's my birthday"
"Must be awful hard, celebratin' yer birthday, without any parents around ... Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. How awful, who would do such a thing to run out on such a beautiful child as yerself?" Miss Perdue said.
I went to open my mouth to say goodbye and high tail it out of there and she went on
"How old ya' gonna be now sweet darlin'?"
"16."
Ah, sweet sixteen, I remember those days. You gonna have a big party? I hope it's not too loud cause I got Ed's gotta go to bed early now with his glaucoma, makes him tired."
"Okay, nice chatting with you, bye" I said as I jogged off rolling my eyes wishing I hadn't seen Miss Perdue's obnoxious face that morning or her pooping retriever. Her house was salmon colored and littered with bright blue orchids. It was a horrid sight.

Gma got along with everybody in town, except for Miss Perdue. They went to the same church. Mrs. Perdue was consistently in everyone's business and Gma did not like that, she put her in her place frequently. It was funny and entertaining to watch.

"Have a nice jog" she sang in her sing song voice waving and smiling. I didn't look back.

I hit the play button on my light purple ipod shuffle and was soon was in heaven, jogging along the peacefulness of the Hudson river. I was listening to Savage Garden's 'To the Moon and Back'.
Eventually I came to the park where Gerry said that Cindy was raped and killed by Colin who lived just down the street from me. I couldn't help but stop and gaze. There was still yellow police tape up. I was out of breathe from running too fast and so I kneeled down to catch my breath, looking down at my white Pumas, when suddenly I heard wretched screams.
I stood up quickly and in shock. I saw two people, a boy and a girl. As I squinted my eyes to see past the fog, I could see that it was Cindy and the Colin. They were by a big birch tree. She was leaning against the tree and giggling, as Colin combed her long and straight dirty blonde hair with his fingers. He then leaned in to kiss her and she kissed him back willingly. After the kiss they shared a long intimate stare.

"I love you, Cindy" Colin said softly and sincerely.

She grinned and giggled. "I love you too ...."

They had a long hug after expressing their love. Colin embraced Cindy by her sides and lifted her up. They kissed again this time more passionately as she slid down his chest.

As these two horny teens continues to swap spit, a mysterious black cloud appeared a few feet away. I felt firghtened as I watched what would come of their fate. The black cloud drew nearer and eventually entered Colin's Native American Indian body. They continued kissing passionately and Colin began to grope Cindy more heavily, man handling her breasts and then attempting  to undue the zipper on her white shorts.

"What are you doing?" Cindy asked Colin frantically. "I thought we agreed not to ..."

"Come on baby, we love each other .... let's do what lovers do, you said you loved me ... you know you want it... hehehe ..."

Cindy immediately pushed Colin's body away from hers after his lewd remarks.  
"Oh yeah? What is that?" She asked him "Come on Colin, you're scaring me" She looked as if she was about to cry. "Please, stop."

"Colin came near Cindy again, stroking her flushed cheek. "Lovers make love, baby"  He said as he forced a kiss on her lips and she struggled to back away from his persistent groping.
"NO!" Cindy screamed.

I stood there baffled as to how I was seeing all of  this. Was I seeing Colin and Cindy's ghosts? No, that couldn't be. Colin was still alive and Scott free. It seemed that Colin had become a different person once the black smokey cloud entered his tanned body. He went from sweet and loving to forceful and scummy becoming more and more aggressive and lustful.
Colin raped and killed Cindy by strangulation. It was the most disturbing and disgusting act of violence I had ever seen. After Colin killed Cindy he turned around to face the riverside where I was standing. I saw straight his eyes, they were bright red. He picked Cindy up and walked right past me as if I wan't there and tossed Cindy's dead body in the river like it was nothing.
After he finished the evil deed, he black smoke cloud left his body. He jerked in as if it was very forceful upon exiting. The black cloud of smoke faded into the fog and disappeared. Colin looked around dazed confused, yelling desperately for the love of his life:

"CINDY! CINDY!" He cupped his hands to his mouth to sound louder.

After he called her a few more times and she did not answer, he noticed blood on his hands and this made him terrified. he looked as if he had just lost his best friend and I suppose he had. He began to sob and then ran in the direction of home.

I was terrified myself by this vision and I rubbed my eyes  as I watched him call for her. I was flooded with a rush of emotions, I sniffled, and tears started to grace my cheeks. a black bird flew from the birch tree squawking like it was crazy. I was startled and upset and so I screamed. I turned to head home frantically, running fast and breathing heavily, I looking back in fear obsessively. As I was looking back for the fourth or fifth time, I crashed into someone. It had begun to rain and I was cold.

"Huff, puff, huff, puff ..." Were the only sounds that would escape my throat. I felt someone shake me lightly.

"Violet, are you alright? What happened?" A soothing vioce asked me ...

I looked up and I was surprisingly and pleasantly in the arms of Damian. What was Damian doing out here so early in the morning I wondered. He wore dark gray sweat pants, and a white Hanes t-shirt that accentuated his nicely chiseled forearms and torso.

"you're breathing like a chain smoker in a 500 mile marathon"

"Huff, puff, huff, puff"

Heavy breathing was still the only response I could muster. Damian did look concerned about me and it felt nice. I felt a  butterfly feeling swirl in my gut and then the words fluttered out.

"Jogging, just running, Home, gotta get home, paper, gotta write" Yeah, real smooth, Violet, real smooth. Damian was probably thinking that I was some kind of a nut job by now. I pulled myself out of his arms, reluctantly, he was so warm. We shared a long stare, my God his eyes were so freaking beautiful. 

"Can I walk you home, at least? you look a little unstable" Damian snickered.

"No, I'm fine, fine, thank you. I mean bye, bye" I said with tears streaming down my face. Then  I laughed inappropriately.

I ran home as quickly as I could. I had no idea what to do or who to talk to about what I had seen. I had a gut feeling hat nobody would understand, not Gma, not Frank, not even Crys and I certainly wouldn't tell Ollie or Gerri. I felt so all alone and frightened. I sat under the awning on my front porch on the chair swing and cried like a baby laying down on it and eventually falling asleep.

Friday, August 9, 2013

A Beautiful Mess



You're a beautiful mess
blanketed in a dream
so afraid to wake,
you sleep,
drenched of pain
you sleep,
falling,
away from the madness,
you cannot stand
so you lay,
in your beautiful mess
you scream,
terrorized pieces float
of you,
shatters of hopes
I reached for each shard
of you,
scattered of your dreams
no one can
wake you up
You're a beautiful mess
a sleeping beauty
he sleeps,

but he receives no rest

Violet's Kismet, Chapter 5, Uncle Frank's Visit

Uncle Frank and I sat at the long oak dining room table laced in a red and white checkered table cloth from Williams Sonoma. Gma Maple was cooking multi-grain spaghetti and meatballs, our favorite. She hummed happily in her newly designed contemporary kitchen, which was remodeled with part of the settlement money after grandpa's passing. Gma donned a fashionable baby blue flannel pajama set with stylish white fuzzy kitty slippers. Salem watched her intensely with his yellow eyes as he awaited his share of the meatballs.


The brick fire place was sparking warmly in the family room, which could be viewed from the dining room. It was an unusually cold day in September and we opened up our pre-dinner discussion with the undeniable fact of how unpredictable the weather had been. In the past week the temperature had gone from the mid 80's down into the low 60's. I shivered and reached for my light gray sweater on the back of my chair, placing it on rather quickly. Gma saw that I was cold and immediately rushed over. Her shoulder length light brown hair was up in a bun.


"Why don't I close the window dear?" Gma asked and I agreed.


Gma made her way back into the kitchen and then into the dining room once again carrying a big brown bowel of spaghetti and meatballs in one hand and a plate of buttered potato rolls in the other.


"Ohhhhhhhh, yeah" Frank said as he smiled rubbing his hands together and tucking a napkin into his shirt.


Frank and I looked at each other with wide eyes. This was happiness at its finest.


"Eat up dears, there's plenty more where that came from." Gma encouraged us to eat as she sat down.


" Maple, Don't tell Mel this, but your spaghetti and meatballs trump Mel's any day!"


"Oh Frank, I promise, I won't tell her ..."


Gma winked one eye and and placed her hand on Franks's shoulder briefly. We all chuckled.


Frank was wearing a pair of tan slacks and a light pink button down shirt. He had a medium sized diamond earring in one ear and sported a gold Rolex watch on his left wrist. He was a rather good looking man, not that I found him attractive, ewe, no. But he had Jade green eyes, that were very large and long thick girly eye lashes. His had an inviting smile with lips that were usually a tint of red as if he had just eaten a cherry ice pop. He was 6'3" tall, lean and slightly muscular. When we took our monthly trips to Cross Gate Mall the teenage girls and middle aged women gave him googly eyes and smiles as he walked by. Frank loved the attention. he was a very socially outgoing man who would stop and talk to random people while campaining his position on the town council.


Gma Maple placed an old photo album on the dining room  table. I liked looking at old pictures, it made me feel like my parents were in the room with me again. As we filled our plates piling the spaghetti high, Frank reached over to the photo album on the edge of the table and said


'what's this?' as if he didn't know what it was.


Gma Maple said 'Why it's an old photo album of John and Julie's wedding.'


John and Julie were the names of my parents. Just hearing there names makes me feel vulnerable as if I could cry at any second. As Frank reached his hand over to open up the photo album I felt a sadness come over me but I held back the tears. Gma sat at the head of the table and Frank and I sat across from one another. Frank opened the large white photo album as he stuffed his face full of spaghetti in large bites chewing with his mouth wide open. He placed the album so that we all could see. Frank and Gma began reminiscing. I looked onward as if I was paying attention but I began drifting.


 I was back in my old home where I grew up with my mother and my father. I could hear laughing. As I arrived home from school, the bus dropped me off and I opened the door.


"surprise!"


There were purple balloons everywhere. My parents, Frank and Mel were blowing gazoos. It was my 5th birthday. Mom placed a birthday hat on my head.


Purple has always been my favorite color. Dad said that's why he and my mother named me Violet, because they knew, even before I was born, purple was going to be my favorite color. He told me this story for the hundredth time as he greeted me at the foyer.


"Do you like it Pumpkin?" He asked.


"Yes, daddy, I love it! It's purple!" I said with a great enthusiasm.


"That's why your mother and I named you Violet" he said while kneeling, holding my hands and smiling.


"Because we knew, EVEN before you were born, that your favorite color was going to be purple" I giggled.


Then he gave me a big bear hug, lifted me up and spun me in his arms. We make our way into the sun room where a delicious chocolate birthday cake was awaiting.


"Make a wish Violet", Mom said, as the candles were already lit. I made a wish.


"What did you wish for?" Mel asked.

I giggled and said I couldn't tell her, because then my wish wouldn't come true. I had wised that my parents would live forever.


As I heard my name, "Violet, Vie, Vie." Frank and Gma were trying to gain my attention.


I remembered seeing something that day ton my fifth birthday, through the screen in the sun room, outside by the pool. They looked like black clouds. The sun had been shining and immediately after I made my wish, the sky became stark. My parents, Frank and Mel began to have a discussion as I watched outside. There were low black clouds, moving in circles above our built in pool. I walked to the screen, staring at them. They started to move in closer. Frank, Mel and my parents were deep in a discussion about business, laughing uproariously! I sensed the clouds were coming to take my parents. But why? Why would clouds want my parents, I wondered.


"NO!" I yelled and I held out my hand and a wine glass on the table shattered, the black clouds disappeared at that instance as everyone turned their heads.


"Violet honey, what's wrong" Dad said. My eyes were watery, but I said nothing.


"Too much sugar, mom joked."


Everyone laughed loudly as they smoked cigarettes and drank wine. Mom cleaned up the glass. They thought I had knocked it over, but I hadn't.


 "Violet, Violet, Vie!"


Oh, oh, yes?'


I replied to Gma and Frank who were still both now struggling to gain my attention.


"It's okay" Gma said to Frank, she does this sometimes.


"Just a daydreamer I guess" Frank supposed.


"Yup, just a daydreamer is right!" Gma said as he stood up and patted my head like I was five years old.


I had hoped Frank and I would discuss finding my parents, but somehow the time had escaped us. I guessed it was just a night to reminisce. Frank grabbed his jacket as Gma put the album away. They said goodnight, I got up out of my chair and gave Frank a hug goodbye.


"Behave kiddo, don't give your Gma any trouble: he joked.


He winked at Gma as he said that.


"Yeah" I said, raising me voice with sarcasm, "Cause I'm just soooooo much trouble!".


Frank drove away and Gma and I retreated to our rooms after cleaning up from dinner.


Violet's Kismet, Chapter 4, Creepy Bathroom Incident

 The rest of the first week of school was uneventful to say the least. I was glad to have made it through to Friday though and finally, it was the weekend. I was looking forward to Uncle Frank's visit this evening. Frank wasn't really my uncle, since he was my dad's best friend. He had adapted me like I was part of his family. He would visit Gma and I every Friday evening. Sometimes we'd go shopping or out to eat. Gma would come with us on occasion, but usually it was just Frank and I. When Mel had the chance to visit, she'd come along too. Mel was busy with charity events as of late. Frank and Mel were upper middle class citizens. They spent a lot of time promoting local events and remaining active in the community of York. Frank ran for town council of York that fall. In Frank's absence due to his regular visit with Gma Maple and I, Mel kept her scheduled charity event for breast cancer to continue the ongoing promotion of his position in the election.


Frank was a friendly and genuine gentleman. Frank and Mel's marriage seemed like something out of a fairy tale. It was a shame they were never able to have children, but it came as an advantage to me, since they treated me like the child they never had. During the first week of sophmore year Ollie and I had grown closer as friends. I was a guarded person and didn't want to let anybody new into my life without firstly giving it careful consideration. Turns out Ollie did live in the opposite direction, half of the time. His parents had joint custody of him and they lived in two different directions. On Tuesday I was unable to avoid Ollie's desperate 'Where's Vie' search after school. I felt badly and so I accepted his invitation and spent some time at his mother's apartment on the other side of town. Ollie's mother liked me very much. She said I was welcomed to visit anytime. Their apartment was small and clean. 


Crys's mother drove her home from school almost everyday, unless we made plans to walk home together. Often we would settle in at home first and then stop by each other's houses. Crys lived in a very elaborate house. Her parents were quite wealthy. Once I overheard her father brag to a guest, that he had 2.5 Million dollars in assets. He was the accountant for the New York Met's. Mr. Thomas had lifetime season passes to the New York Met's Baseball games. Sometimes Crys and I went with Her parents Mark and Sandy and her little brother Mathew. Crys didn't really like to go unless I came along. Neither one of us were baseball fans. but her family would occasionally coax  us to go. Mathew was a sweet boy of seven. He would burrow underneath our skin occasionally but it was nothing out of the ordinary for a seven year old boy. Mathew had a crush on me. Usually Crys didn't want to be bothered with Mathew's childish ways. I could see he just wanted attention and love. I would scold Crys for being so mean to him. She didn't like that, but Mathew loved it when I came to his defense. She didn't quite call him by his name, but rather by names like, Wet bed, Goober and Geek.


Gma's house was a homey home with family pictures plastered on the walls accompanied by old paintings from several generations, of which my family had painted. My heritage was 50% Irish as my father's was 100% Irish. My mother was decent from Lebanon and of Jewish background. Gma enjoyed painting oil portraits of people. She once painted an oil of me and it turned out quite exceptionally. It hung in the hallway. Gma's husband, my grandfather died the year before I moved to Gma's. My grandfather's death was tragic. He was hit by a driver who was texting on a cell phone and killed, as he was attempting to cross the road in town.


Gma was overjoyed to have gained my company and always grateful to have me around. She was depressed and grieving for that year after her husband passed away but says that once I came to live with her everything turned around for the better! It made me think just how ironic life really was. My parents disappeared leaving me grief stricken and lonely inside for years. But, from their disappearance I had no choice but to live with Gma. Since she was grieving from my grandfather's recent death, my living with her, turned her life around. She says I had saved her and that without my beautiful face to say hello to every morning, she didn't know how she could have carried on.


God was funny, the way he worked. It was like, by taking something good away from one person, he could take that tragedy and turn it into something wonderful for someone else. Phenomena kept my belief that there was still hope my parents were alive. I saw the beauty in life, despite the tragedy. I wouldn't give up hope unless I had 100% proof that they were ... Oh God, it was so hard to think ... my eyes welled ... dead.! My parents were not dead! No! They were alive! I didn't know how I was going to find them, but I was convinced that I would. Even if I was to find their buried bones, I had to know.


Everyday, 7 days a week, I awoke at 5:00 a.m. and jogged along the Hudson river. It was so peaceful early in the morning. there were hardly any people around, it was mainly just me, asphalt, trees and sky. I'd usually jog for about an hour stopping at one of the benches in between to reflect on life. Sometimes if I wasn't in the mood to jog, (like when I had my Aunt Flow over to visit) I'd bring a journal in my messenger bag and walk briskly. I'd sit writing poems and entries. I kept a journal most of the days. It was nothing fancy just a black hardcover journal from Staples.


I desired to write everything down that I had done and everything that I felt. When I did find my parents, or they found me, I wanted show them everything that had happened since they'd been gone. The thought of seeing them again made me very emotional. Sometimes I'd write letters to them in my journals. As if I was having separate conversations, and they were really there. I wasn't sure if these strong emotions were keeping me real, or stunting my growth as a spirit. I was a volcano of emotions and feelings deep inside. Lots of times I would cry at the park bench as the sun was rising. There was something about the rising sun that moved me as it reflected onto the water. I'd sketch as well as write poetry. I didn't show my journals to anyone, not even Gma or Crys. These were my personal feelings, my secrets. 


When I moved to Gma's at the age of nine after my parent's disappearance, I cried every night for almost three months. Gma often consoled me. I soon began experiencing dreadful nightmares and night terrors. By the time I was ten years old the nightmares and night terrors night terrors ceased, but a few weeks prior the nightmares had returned. I wasn't sure why the nightmares had returned or what was different in my life that they did. The questions made me feel uneasy.


The Ghost of Darkness was haunting me in my dreams once again! What did he want and was he real? What did this represent? Too many questions, that made my head ache. I took two aspirins and studied my zit free face in the bathroom mirror. I had my own bathroom attached to my bedroom. it was a pretty sweet deal! As I looked in the medicine cabinet mirror, I could not blink and I began to stare into my own blue eyes intensely. My eyes became dry and yet I continued to stare until my vision became blurred.


I had heard a racket outside of the bathroom window. I thought it must have been the wind. The large mirror glared a fog since I had just finished showering from evening jog. I turned my head to the bathroom window as I readjusted the white towel drying my hair. the window was wide opened. I didn't have any recollection of leaving that window open as it had recently gotten chilly, I was sure it had been closed! I then tightened my baby blue body towel as water beads dried upon my skin and began walking over to the rattling window to close it once and for all. Just as I approached, I was startled by a dark smokey object that appeared to be floating outside. 


The strange passing object outside of the window took me aback a Igasped and stepped backwards quickly two steps loosing my balance. As I regained my balance with the towel rack, which then broke and cut my hand I also thought I heard a whispering noise or a low speaking voice. My guess was that it was the wind or some noise coming from the t.v. which was on in my bedroom, or perhaps  from the nosy neighbor's yard. I regained my confidence and proceeded  to close the bathroom window again. I walked cautiously over towards it and just as I leaned in to close the darn thing, it slammed shut on its own and I screamed very loudly ...


'SON OF A BITCH!' Running out of the bathroom and slamming the bathroom door behind me. I stood with my back to the bathroom door out of breath and frightened as hell.


"Is everything alright, Vie?" Gma Maple called up from the kitchen where she was cooking a yummy dinner.


I paused, gulped and cracked the bathroom door open to see if that strange object I had observed outside was still there lurking. Okay, maybe it was a loose dog like the neighbors retriever, or maybe Salem had gotten out. Oh no Salem! I hope it wasn't Salem! I looked around for him and he was cuddling my legs. Whew!


"Dear" Gma called up, "are you alright? I'm coming up there..."


"I'm alright Gma!" I replied, in a sort of loud uneasy voice. 


I then felt a swoosh like jolt lightly shock my frightened body. I shook a little from it and then I was calm.


"I'm fine, I'm fine, okay, okay ..." I said to myself out loud.


"You're alright Vie" I laughed inappropriately. After my lunatic laughter, I gulped and looked suspiciously around my bedroom for a few seconds. Nothing was moving except for Salem's furry body curling up on my queen sized  purple comforter.


I heard a car pull up and looked out of my bedroom window to discover that it was Frank. We'll just sit and eat some good old Gma's cookin' and reminisce. Then when Gma leaves the room Frank and I will discuss finding my parents. Everything's going to be alright, were going to find them, it's going to be okay. I got dressed and made my way downstairs.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Violet's Kismet, Chapter 3, The Not So Quiet Walk Home

I gladly walked home alone the first day of sophmore year at Albany High. Crys had asked me if I wanted a ride home with her and her mother, but after the dream I had after falling asleep in science class, I just wanted to be solo. Besides, The temperature was perfect, about 80 degrees. Crys asked me one more time as her head was propped out of her mother's black Mercedes E class cabriolet.


"You sure you don't want a ride home Vie?"


 "nah" I said displaying a half smile.


"Okay", Crys said and her mother prompted me to be safe as mother's do.


I had seen Ollie asking around if anyone had seen me. I was ducking him. Maybe we could walk home together on occasion, but not today. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I positioned my green messenger bag on my shoulder so that it would be comfortable for the walk. I saw Ollie from a distance looking over to the sidewalk where I was. He looked like he had seen me and began to grin and walk faster.


"Vie, Vie? ...." I heard a squeaky voice calling my name.


It was just my luck that a bus had been going by at that time and I had enough time to disappear behind an old Navy blue Firebird before Ollie was certain he had seen me. I watched in the rusty rear view mirror as he stopped and looked around frantically, seeming disappointed. For a moment I felt kind of bad, like I should have popped my head  up and waived. Ollie was already breaking down my tough exterior and it was only the first day of Sophmore year. Was I cray, as Crys and I would would say, girl you cray! Anyway eventually he gave up and I saw him walk the other way. I guessed he lived in the opposite direction as I did. I felt a sigh of relief as I imagined I could have my peaceful walks home after all without being bombarded with Ollie's chatty company. He was sort of growing on me, but I liked to have time  to reflect on things that had happened in the past., sort-of like sorting out the pieces of my life's puzzle.
I remembered my parents at least once a day,  meditating on the memories. There were lots of good memories that my parents and I had. I loved both of them very much and I still do. I had faith that they are alive somewhere and I liked to take the time to think about what I would do to find them. I thought back to the months leading up to their disappearance and I looked for clues there. As I began walking, there was a slight breeze. The sky was clear and azure, filled with cotton clouds. I took a deep relaxing breath. I had survived the first day of sophmore year and I was feeling relaxed and peaceful.


Just when I was finally feeling as if I was winding down from the stressful day, a candy blue mustang convertable stopped at a red light parallel to me. As I began to walk the crosswalk I looked over to my left. There was Amy and her friends. It was Amy's hot ass boyfriend's car, Ted. He was a senior and a spoiled one at that. His car was fresh off the lot. It looked like the paint was barely dried the way it glistened in the sunlight. It really was a nice car and I couldn't help but stare at it's shinyness as I crossed the street. Amy didn't notice me at first. She was busily staring at Ted, until he turned his head to look at me, never changing his expression. As Amy noticed him turn his head before he looked back to the light turning green, She gave me this'fuck you bitch look' as they drove away. Of course Ted peeled wheels. Maybe he was trying to impress me.  then I quickly thought  nah that a hot piece of eye candy  like that would never be interested in a plain and lanky track runner like me.


My walk returned to peaceful as I reminisced of the good old days with my parents. My dad was a family man, he didn't spend much time outside of Mom, I and Salem.  Frank was flamboyant and funny. He was married to Melinda and they had no children because Frank was infertile. Too much eaves dropping as a kid I suppose. I loved Frank and since my parents were gone he had been the closest thing to a father to me, stopping by and visiting me and gma Maple, usually once a week on Friday evenings. Frank was on the police force with my dad and ever since my parents disappeared he had been trying to solve the case. Frank and I were the only ones who truly still believed my parents were alive. Everyone else was very careful as to not give me false hope, just in case they were in fact, dare I say it as a lump rises in my dry throat, dead.
My throat was dry so I needed a drink. I stopped into the corner market, Price chopper. It was on the way and I was uncertain if I was going to make it. I started coughing and that brought me back to reality, away from the memories. I struggled to open the door as it was a heavy  I had to pull extra hard to open it. Why didn't they just have the door open? It was a warm enough day. I stopped into Price Chopper quite frequently on my way home from school the year before. I always had a few dollars a day. Gma Maple was good to me and gave me $10 dollars a day for whatever I needed, lunch or whatever fundraisers they'd have at school. In exchange I'd wash the dishes well enough each night to place them in the dishwasher and then put them away.


I walked the green and white tiles to the back of the store and pulled out a vitamin water, that was my favorite drink, I liked the orange one. They didn't have any orange so I sighed and asked the store owner who was stocking the shelves if there was any orange Vitamin Water in the back. His was a Buddhist from India. I remember once that I had to wait five minutes before I could purchase a slushie while he prayed upon his knees behind the counter. I kept asking


"excuse me, uh, hello" despite the inquiries he continued praying as if no one was there. The line had gotten pretty long and he finally wrapped it up when someone threatened to throw a hot dog. He gave a speech on the importance of prayer afterwards, but It was hard to hear him over the customers complaining. His name was Dan.


"Yes", Dan said


"do you have the orange vitamin water in the back?" I asked


"No, no, no orange, only red." I paused for a minute.


"Okay, I'm going to be in here like every day, can you  order some orange?"


"Orange, yeah, yeah, we can order some orange. Right now only red."


"Okay', I said, 'thank you Dan' I grabbed the red Vitamin Water and began to make my way up to the counter. 'I'm ready to check out ..." I said to Dan.


"Oh, No, no, I'm not going to help you today we have a new employee." Dan blinked a lot. It was almost contagious in fact it was because I would start to blink a lot too. Then he would ask me if I had something in my eye.


"We have new employee today, Damian."


"Damian? Okay, Damian it is." I said underneath my breath as I walked up the isle. There was nobody at the counter.

 "There's nobody here!" I said to Dan as I looked back,


"Damian, Damian, there is customer you have to ring up"


Suddenly this head popped up from behind the counter, not a bad looking head either. His hair was kind of dark and greasy like something out of well, the movie Grease. He had on dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. His eyes were crystal blue, almost mesmerizing. He popped up so fast from behind the counter that he startled me and I threw my red vitamin water up in the air and Damian caught it and smoothly rang it up.


"Uhm ...." I said, un-smoothly, 'good catch' I said trying to regain my coolness or whatever degree of coolness I actually had left in me, which wasn't much.


"Good throw!" he said smiling devilishly.


As he rang up the red vitamin water, I could feel his eyes on me as if they were a hot laser scanning my body. I began to feel nervous and shake.


"That'll be 1.65" he said suavely.


I awkwardly pulled the money out of my pocket and handed it to him and as I handed him the money a quarter dropped onto the floor, now I was convinced he was checking out my butt as I bent over. I picked it up quickly.


"You're Violet Vaden aren't you?" He asked.


"What's it to you?" I said, trying to be cool, once again and the added effort wasn't working.


"Yes, I'm Violet Vaden ..." I said as I lifted one eyebrow.


"Can you lift the other one?" he asked.


"Excuse me?" I replied.


"The other eyebrow!' he said and he laughed."


"No, I can only lift one." I said sheepishly.


"Watch this!" he said as he lifted each eyebrow one at a time.


"Wow, very impressive!" I said, "Now can I have my change?" I was actually very impressed.


"Sure" he said cheerfully.


"Thanks" I said and then there was an awkward stare and I said,
"I know you, you go to my school."


"Your school he said?" leaning back and placing his hands on his hips.


I went to go say something, but I had no idea what to say, I looked down at the ground.

 "We have Spanish class together, you don't recognize me?" Damian asked.


"Nope. Okay then", I said, "See ya' at school or Spanish class" in a high pitched voice while making my grand exit wondering what gma Maple was cooking up for dinner that night, I was starved.